Things I want to remember

After the first Camp Casey in Aug of 05, a group comprised of Gold Star Families, Iraq Vets, and Military Families, and Vets got together and toured the US and came together in D.C. ending in a march on Washington with other peace activists. It was called the Bring Them Home Now Tour.

The Bring Them Home Now Tour always reminded me of the ancient Greek Furies pursuing the damned souls who had committed unforgivable crimes across the land for all eternity.

I wanted to go on it so bad, but three -four days was all I had before my son's pre-deployment leave for his first tour began. Priorities, you know.

My son has not had it easy. Before his second deployment, we held our 'going away' BBQ, and a neighbor of ours showed up and I know she was trying to be supportive, but she went on and on about a TV debate I had done about ending the war, and how she was glad about it and to 'keep it up'. I appreciated the support, but kept glancing at my son, out of the corner of my eye. He didn't say much. That was one time, I would have preferred not to have the support.

Until my son marries, and creates a home of his own, our house is still his lodestone. So I keep reminding myself that this war is someday going to be over, and that we will endure, and all this will sort itself out in time. My job is to make sure he has some point on the map he can anchor himself to if need be.

So we talk about whats really important, like how's the dogs doing? And did his dad get a deer last hunting season? And if the neighbor's goats got out and ate all the bushes before they got to flower this year? And if our crazy neighbor behind us figured out yet he won't make a second million raising beef and will stop knocking down all the trees in the forest?

All of the really important stuff.
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Here is a list of some of the people I met, came in contact with. An article about Camp Casey 05.

Everyone rags on Cindy Sheehan so much, but for me, since I only had a couple of handshake intros to her, the majority of my experience was with other military families, vets, and activists/regular people of various stripes. That is not to down play her role...its just to say...the media made her out to be such a rock star type, and what I experienced was another mom just like me, who had taken the blow that we all fear the most. At least she was taking a constructive path to express her grief and outrage. I don't think any of us know what/ or how we will react in that situation.

Anyway.

This blog is in essence an archive for me, and these are memories of people I do not want to forget. These are my memories and thoughts-they are not intended to insult or praise-just to help me remember.

Bill Mitchell, a member of Gold Star Families for Peace, likened the extraordinary turnout and caravan to the movie, “Field of Dreams.” “If you build it, they will come,” he told the crowd. “People will drive to Crawford and they won’t even know why. They will bring love and support.” He told the audience about similar small camps and vigils popping up all over the nation as evidence of the growing movement they are all a part of. Bill Mitchell’s son Sgt. Mike Mitchell died in Iraq with Cindy Sheehan’s son in April 2004. Mike had only seven days left in his military service.

Bill seemed like he was everywhere during the days I was there. He was determined, and grief-stricken at the same time. I remember most that he seemed like a fish out of water. For all of his energy and 'we can get this done' attitude, at times it looked like he was living off of will power alone. I don't know anything about his personal life, what he did for a living, or anything like that, or if he had any experience that would have prepared him for the role he was now in. Alot of the Gold Star parents had this quality about them. Their level of determination seemed almost to cloak them like armour as they dealt with media, and insensitive well-wishers who didn't understand for all their good intentions.

Beatriz Saldivar of Fort Worth, Texas, had constructed a memorial for her nephew Sgt. Daniel Torres at the vigil. Daniel died in Iraq this February. She told the World she is committed to raising awareness about the war among the Hispanic community, and said she hopes to join in counter-military-recruitment campaigns in local high schools.

The young lady above is the one who camped herself out across the road from our MFSO tent with her sign about her nephew. She almost single handedly dealt with a bunch of counterprotesters who had moved in on our side of the road and taken up residence only a few yards away from us (because by golly, if you can we can too!!! my god it got juvenile there for awhile...) She had to look at the counterprotest woman who held up the sign saying she was glad Beatrice's loved one had died in Iraq for her freedom. I wanted to punch that woman in the nose so many times. Just thinking about it still makes me mad. I think of Beatrice and I think of courage.

Al Zappala, a Gold Star Families for Peace member from Philadelphia, told the World about the organization. “We’re an offshoot of Military Families Speak Out. We’re the members of that organization that have lost loved ones in the Iraq war.” Zappala’s son, National Guard Sgt. Sherwood Baker, was killed in Iraq last year.

When I think of Al, I think of Celeste, and Dante as well. I don't think I even remember meeting Al at camp Casey, but maybe later I saw him at the N.Orleans march. I remember him...he's the skinny guy who can run. This family has been out front for as long as I can remember. They are a credit to this nation, and they have given so much time and effort. Dante sticks in my mind, because I remember being struck in Aug 05 about how much poise he had while being interviewed by the media...and he was so young. He welcomed me to the camp, and was kind to me on more than a few occasions. I remember his kindness and strength...remarkable in one so young.

I have seen Celeste in a number of media articles. I wrote a post about her video to respond to a rightwing attack ad that used the 'don't die in vain' talking point and fronted a gold star parent.

Gold Star Mom vs Gold Star Mom

Do you get that America?

If you don't feel ashamed by that then something is wrong with you.

Phil and Linda Waste of Hinesville, Ga., new members of Military Families Speak Out, have three sons, a grandson and a granddaughter who are active-duty military. Together, they have already spent a total of over 57 months on tours of duty in Iraq: “[We] came to Crawford to support our troops — really support our troops — not just a sticker on the back of our car, or an empty phrase. We wanted to present ourselves in person to speak out and encourage the Bush administration to change their mind about continuing this war. “This experience has been truly cathartic for me. By coming to Crawford, my wife and I are able to express ourselves. We hope that Americans out there will join our movement and help us in our endeavor to bring the truth to the American people.”

Phil and Linda were just all around nice people, the kind you want to live next door to. I had a few moments with Phil that stuck with me. The last day I was there, there was a rally and speeches. I had helped with the car parking (both us and prowar people) and then went up to the stage area and did the requisite standing as a family member. Other people spoke, and I didn't have to, but stood and listened to all the stories of the vets, the gold star family members, and the other military families.

I was exhausted at the end of it. Not the standing so much, as internally I get to the point I just go numb. I can't take anymore sadness, or outrage. It just gets to much to process for me. So I walked out to a bench that was in the shade next to the parking area. Phil came out shortly thereafter, and took a seat next to me to take a load off of his feet, and wait for his ride. I am not much of a conversationalist, but he got me to talking and then the next thing I know he shared a funny, off-colored family story about his boat that had me laughing and smiling.

That day I was driving home to begin the goodbye process to send my son to the place I had just finished hearing all these terrible stories about.

I was saddened and terrified, and frustrated beyond belief.

Phil gave me a moment of respite from all that, and a reminder to not despair. That for all of the difficult and terrible things there are in life...there is joy and laughter as well.

I think of Phil and Linda often and hope their family is well and safe.

Tammara Rosenleaf is from Belton, Texas. Her husband serves in the Army and will be deploying to Iraq this fall: “I’m here because I believe that this country needs to take a look at the path that it’s on and make an adjustment. I believe we cannot kill our way to peace.

This woman along with Charlie Anderson, came up with 'bake sales for body armour' to address the lack of armour issue. How's that for originality? This was an action I had hoped to participate in, but it didn't materialize. I didn't think it would get much traction in my neck of the woods.

Lietta Ruger of Bay Center, Wash., is sleeping in a tent in the roadside ditch. Her son-in-law and nephew have both served extended 15-month tours of duty in Iraq; they are both under stop-loss orders and due to redeploy to Iraq this fall:

I have talked before about Lietta. She has been a real force on the west coast. Take a look over at Dying to Preserve the Lies. I remember her most for all the effort she put into trying to bridge the gap between the civilian activists/people and the military ones. There is a huge disconnect in experience there, and over time I have seen the results of it show up on a number of occasions. I so enjoyed my talks with her.

Jean Prewitt’s son Pvt. Kelly Prewitt was killed in action in 2003 during the first few weeks of the war: “I don’t want to see other families go through what my family has gone through. I have lost respect for my president. I supported Bush in the beginning but I no longer can do that — not just because my son died, but because we invaded a country with no plan. The military was not ready, no equipment. I want the war to end because it seems like we’ve lost direction and it’s snowballed into nothing but chaos and death. My son is worth more than that.”

Jean Prewitt reminded me of both of my grandmothers, not in age, but style and mannerism. She struck me as a real southern lady, and what that means for those of you inclined to make fun of the south, is that no matter what the burden, they will bear it with grace and dignity and a backbone of steel. So that's what I think of when I think of Jean Prewitt, grace, dignity, and extraordinary courage.

Sue Niederer is from Pennington, N.J. Her son 1st Lt. Seth Dvorin was killed in action in Iraq in February. Sue is a co-founder of Gold Star Families for Peace:
“My son — my pride my joy, my best friend — would never send his men out on a mission that he himself would not do. Why aren’t the children of anyone on Capitol Hill who sent our kids over serving? “This is bigger than Crawford — we’re trying to change the future.”

Sue Niederer probably wouldn't know me from adam. I've seen her several times, or been in a group situation with her but that's it. I remember her because I admire her style and willingness to confront directly, and that I wish I was better at that. She is one of the first ones who confronted the Bushes over them sending just the military to war without asking any sacrifice of anyone else. Her story speaks for itself. I will update later with a article or something. She confronted Laura Bush early on and ended up getting arrested for it.

There is another Gold Star Marine mom who did something similar at a book signing with Laura Bush recently. You would think the first lady would be getting the message by now.

Sherry Glover of Houston, Texas, came with daughter Katie, who is on
Individual Ready Reserve, and her 5-month-old granddaughter Dakota:
“This is a historical event. I’m one of three generations of women here. With Dakota’s dad in Iraq, this is the time to participate. I’m so concerned about the future of my grandchild. What debt are we leaving her?”

I didn't interact much with this family, but I will say this...Behold the fringe radical leftist wing: a grandmother, her IRR daughter/military wife, and military brat. That's as much reality as anything you will see on TV or spouted by stupid, self-seeking pundits.

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Here are some more people I want to remember:

Tina Bushey-Midwest MFSO....She, and as of last year, her and her husband were activity working hard to help all of their fellow vets. I have been continually heartened by Americans, and especially fellow military, that take their duty to their fellow man so seriously that they take action and work their tails off for change...with no compensation, lots of frustration, often little seen results, and often spending money (especially these days) that they need for their families.

To me this is what America's really about. This is what leave no man behind is about. This is why I do what I do. It is a small contribution, but I want to live in a world where we all count.

Everybody, Iraqis included.

My favorite memory of Stacey Hafley is of her hunkered down in a row of faux tombstones on her cell phone, sitting slumped over propped up on one hand, barely visible over the white cardboard.

Stacey is with national MFSO now, but this was when she was spearheading the Midwest effort and trying to get the chapter organized. This particular action was in either Columbia, MO or St.Louis, I can't remember...they start to merge together after awhile. It was one where we were presenting the 'blank check' to McCaskill for the war. Anyway, there was a row of the tombstones set up at a central location that symbolized all of the fallen. And there were so many of them. Events, speeches, and etc. had been held at the sight for several days, and the presentation of the 'blank check' was pretty much the end of the event. I marched with another military dad, each of us holding an end of the MFSO sign as we went through the streets.

Maybe it was Jeff city we were at...I will have to look it up. I remember we were going through an extremely affluent part of town and I was struck by the marchers on one hand in the midst of almost an obscenity of wealth. Weird. We got sneered at by an blonde barbie doll type woman. I have never been sneered at before so it stuck with me. I have been called names, yelled at, told I was demoralizing and hurting my son, told I am unamerican and a traitor, but never been sneered at for being not fit to be in the neighborhood. It was a new experience.

Update: I have merged them together-this was from a Bush fundraiser march that anti-war and minimum wage activists joined forces.

There was a guy in our march just in front of our banner, that was being confrontive and trying to provoke a fight with passing SUV's. The dad at the other end of the MFSO banner looked at me, and I know we were both thinking the same thing...."I wish that guy would shut up and have a little dignity".

Sometime during that day, before the march or after, I can't remember, Stacey went missing and someone needed her for something. We hunted up and down and finally found her in the midst of the tombstones, almost invisible, her head just clearing the top of them. To someone who just happened on the scene, it probably looked disrespectful for her to be out in the midst of the markers , kicked back on her cell. But she was on the phone doing a radio interview of some sorts talking to a vet who disagreed with our position and that was the only spot she could get a signal. She was leaning over, because she had been up most of the last two days, having spent the last night at the site and so was running on almost no sleep. Even with this, she was talking to the guy calmly, and with concern and care.

I remember when Midwest MFSO first was started her focus was on what we could do to be of real help to the returning vets, besides just end the war...

Anytime I hear pundits characterize the anti-war movement as fringe leftwing radicals I think of Stacey and all of these others I am writing about...and wonder if the pundits will ever understand how badly they lost the argument and how stupid, ignorant, and greedy they look now.

I'm in a bad mood now, it still makes me mad, and I am not as nice as Stacey was or is, and probably never will be.

Lietta's links from Crawford